What a Gnome Wants

I often bookmark a few of my favorite things (please don't sing that) in hopes that I will one day become independently wealthy and buy whatever I fancy. Come to think of it, most of these purchases would not require wealth, but simply a reasonable explanation for their acquisition (read: I lovingly refer to my study as Fred Sanford's living room).




How hard would I have to try in order for my friends to "get" this? Would I, too, have to lie face-down on the floor every time I want to show off this pillow?




This probably confirms what you already knew/suspected about me.



I'd like to think that my kidneys pluck, but do they seriously have time for that?



I think the frames are fug, but I'd love to have the patterns. Where's the 1-up?